Night Weaning your Highly Sensitive Little One
Night weaning and toddler weaning are significant milestones in a child's and parent's breastfeeding journey. These transitions are deeply personal and often emotionally charged. Understanding the process and implementing it gently is essential. In this blog, we'll explore various approaches and strategies for night weaning and toddler weaning, with a strong focus on emotional well-being.
The Importance of Listening to Your Child: It's vital to trust your instincts as a parent and tune in to your child's needs. Every child is unique, and no two journeys will be the same. Avoid making decisions based on external pressures.
Below are some factors that may warrant further evaluation before weaning
Your toddler frequently wakes up every hour overnight for extended periods.
Eating is challenging, and the introduction of solids has not been successful.
Your baby cannot reach the roof of the mouth with their tongue.
Your child has never achieved at least a 2-hour sleep stretch, even with contact or motion.
Low iron levels in the mother during pregnancy.
Your child is not meeting developmental milestones or following their growth curve.
Baby displays mouth breathing, snoring, or gasping/choking while sleeping.
You can sense that your child is in pain or discomfort but can't pinpoint the cause.
Your baby's upper lip is notably tight and cannot be raised fully off the gum.
Your child seems persistently fussy and is rarely content.
Restlessness at night, including thrashing around or kicking legs while asleep, is evident.
Frequent episodes of constipation, gas, and discomfort are observed.
Your child frequently gags, chokes, or is extremely picky and refuses most foods and textures during meals.
Approach Options
Gradually Reducing the Amount:
One approach is to gradually reduce the length of time or the amount of milk in early morning or the first nighttime feed. This helps babies adjust to the change without stress. If you’re bottle feeding reduce by an ounce every few days or so. Remember that our highly sensitive little ones do better when we allow for slow transitions.
Reducing the Number of Feedings:
For parents seeking to reduce night feedings, this method involves cluster feeding in the evening, offering frequent feeds in the last two hours before bedtime, ensuring a full bedtime feed. This helps when considering cutting the first wake/feeding. Create a consistent schedule and decide which feedings you're comfortable removing, ideally one at a time. For the feeds you decide to keep, offer both breasts and possibly slightly rouse the baby to ensure they receive a full feed. This can help reduce subsequent feedings, knowing the baby is well-fed. The ideal starting point for eliminating a feed is either the first wake or the last wake closest to the morning wake-up time. Once those are eliminated, you can focus on gradually weaning one or two middle-of-the-night feeds when you're ready.
Dreamfeeds:
For parents who find it challenging to set boundaries, dreamfeeds can be a helpful strategy. A dream feed is given to the child before their usual waking time, slowly shifting the association from waking, signaling, and eating to waking, signaling, and comfort.
Supporting Emotion:
One of the preferred approaches is setting a boundary while supporting a child's emotions. Parents can feed every time their child wakes until a certain time, such as 11:00 pm after a 7:00 pm bedtime, and then slowly extend this time to see how the child responds.
Emphasizing Emotional Wellness: Practice emotional wellness and support for daytime upsets without nursing. This encourages children to use breastfeeding for food, not emotional comfort.
Making Changes to the Bedtime Routine: Change the bedtime routine to include more communication, emotional expression, and engagement. Alter the stories, songs, and activities to create new, positive associations.
Tumble Play and Increased Connection: Adding tumble play and spending more time connecting with the child can help reduce reliance on nursing. Explain to the child that nursing will be available in the morning.
Weaning Toddlers
Weaning toddlers can be a more complex process, but it can still be gentle and emotionally sensitive. Here are some steps for toddler weaning:
Reduce the length of nursing time gradually and limit the volume of milk provided before removing nursing sessions.
Consider not offering the breast but not refusing if the child asks.
Avoid the usual place where breastfeeding occurs.
Offer food and other drinks before the child asks to breastfeed.
Change daily routines to minimize breastfeeding requests.
Begin weaning from daytime feeds, starting with one feed at a time.
Wean from bedtime feeds by introducing other objects for comfort during the nursing session.
Promote new associations by introducing new activities.
Night weaning with toddlers requires careful planning and emotional support. Here are some strategies:
Consider using books that explain the concept of night weaning.
Engage in daytime play and role-playing to prepare the child.
Spend time adding new associations.
Practice emotional wellness during the day to prepare for nighttime changes.
Partner Involvement: Having the partner respond to the child at night and assist in bedtime routines can be helpful. This can include rocking the child to sleep or offering snuggles for comfort.
Gentle Boundaries: While making these transitions, it's crucial to set loving boundaries without causing feelings of shame or ambivalence in the child. Avoid expressions like "you're a big girl/boy."
Weaning from the bottle
Transitioning from bottles to cups is a crucial step in your baby's development. It's generally advisable to initiate this process between 12 and 24 months of age, as recommended by the AAP. This timing is primarily to mitigate the risks associated with tooth decay and obesity.
Here are some methods to consider:
1. Gradually Reduce Bottle Volume: Start by decreasing the volume of milk in each bottle. For instance, if you typically offer your child 6-ounce bottles, switch to 4-ounce bottles for a few days. Gradually reduce the amount until it's completely phased out.
2. Decrease the Number of Bottles: Another approach is to decrease the total number of bottles given. If your child's weight is not a concern, consider eliminating one of the nighttime bottles. Instead, offer your child water and comforting activities like rocking, cuddling, or a gentle back rub. If your child is finding it challenging to part with the bottle, you can experiment with diluting the milk with water progressively over a couple of weeks. As the milk becomes increasingly diluted, your child may lose interest in the bottle. It's important to note that this method is not suitable for children under 12 months. In cases where your baby only has one bottle at night, you may decide to stop it abruptly and provide water and comforting cuddles to help them fall back asleep. Make sure your baby receives sufficient nutrition during the day to compensate for the missing night-time bottle.
Night weaning and toddler weaning are significant moments in a breastfeeding journey. These transitions are best approached with love, patience, and emotional support. As a parent, trust your instincts, and know that you can make decisions that are best for your family. It's essential to prioritize the emotional well-being of both you and your child during these changes. Each child is unique, and every journey is special. By following these gentle strategies, you can help your child transition to new sleep routines while maintaining a strong and loving bond.
Huggins, Kathleen, and Linda Ziedrich. The Nursing Mother's Guide to Weaning: How to Bring Breastfeeding to a Gentle Close, and How to Decide When the Time Is Right. Read How You Want, 2010.
Weber, L. (n.d.). Baby-Lead Sleep & Wellbeing Certification Course. Isla Grace
